ASStation is a segment in All Star Smashers, inspired by the Nepstation TV program in the Hyperdimension Neptunia franchise. The segments are usually hosted by Neptune and occasionally someone else, and are used to discuss future ASS content.
ASStation 1[]
Hosts: Neptune and Harry Hill
Making its first appearance in the All Star Smashers Direct, Neptune and Harry Hill introduce the first of many ASStation segments, thanking everyone for helping out with the production of the Direct, before talking about future content, telling the viewers to be patient and wait for the next video.
Transcript[]
Neptune: Yoohoo! It's everyone's favorite of the 9 newcomers in this video, Neptune!!
Harry: Hi, I'm Harry! And welcome to ASStation! (We haven't made it up, it's a real show!)
Neptune: (Well, on the YouTube channel of yours truly anyway.) Don't ask me what that gabagool guy's beef with that cartoon turtle is- But enough Nepping around!
Harry: For those wondering, this will be our announcement corner from now on regarding news for future ASS content!
Neptune. I wonder who cooked up that acronym. X) Y'know, we really gotta rebrand our game's title but I suppose we don't wanna alienate our more retro viewers at home. Not to neption since this is the final segment we felt our creator really deserves a break from mugshot shifting. Hence the fact this podcast thingy is literally a still image. Way to save budget, Histy. -_-
Harry: Yeah, I knew the girl here was so hungry, she was gonna consume all my speech time on Sausage O'Clock! But now that milk's off, it's time to pay as many bills as we can remember for those who contributed to this development nightmare! Give the champagne to Bizarre Jokester from Discord...
Neptune: ...for providing the sinister voice impression of Donny Dlaven! Though obviously inferior to both my adorable VA's.
Harry Hill: TheBilliantOne for the base move ideas and other stuff...
Neptune: ...Donny Dlaven's moveset could not gain enough shares without his support!
Harry Hill: Oh yes, Distinctive Orangutang for the Final Smash cameos.
Neptune: ...although I bet he didn't even ask permission for reasons hehe.
Harry Hill: Toby himself not only for showering me with lots of attention in that literature festival I attended...
Neptune: ...but also for providing that one small voice clip in the Assist Trophy segment.
Harry: All respective real people and owners: Dav Pilkey, Fifth Cell, Flipline Studios, etc...
Neptune: ...but most importantly Idea Factory and Compile Heart for inventing me!
Harry: Now one last thing we got to do is the segment before the average mindbreak of an episode of You've Been Framed... WHAT HAPPENS NEXT??? By the looks of things during development, it could be the moveset of one of us on screen.
Neptune: Or how about an Extras video like new Assist Trophies, or better yet, get Brad & Matthew's patch surgeries over with...
Harry: Nep-tomatoes? Although your name's a mouthful of shark infested custard, I'm pretty sure you just want to see what happened after you crash in the crater since it's Matt and all...
Neptune: Nope! I just don't want to know who will become the Waluigi from my series. My assist trophy better be someone less deserving like Arsenore... ...or how about a dogoo? Or someone who's far to lonely to have any moveset potential-
Noire: (Off-screen) HEY, WHO YOU CALLING TOO LONELY FOR POTENTIAL???
Neptune: G-Gah! A non-canon bystander in this series? To think that I was bait all along!
Noire: Enough meta nonsense! Just get to the conclusion!
Harry: Alright calm down mate... I mean, I like the idea of another moveset being next and I also like the idea of more celebrity guests next... but I also like the idea of balancing old movesets next. But which is better? There's only one way to find out...
Neptune and Harry: WAAAAAAIT!!!
ASStation 2[]
Hosts: Neptune
Neptune phones Otto Hill, announcing that she was going to be the next character moveset, and that her moveset would be coming in 2023. (Although this ended up not happening) Otto gets annoyed by this, so he hangs up on Nep, calling her a fool after doing so.
Transcript[]
*Telephone rings*
Otto: The boy Kisko, did his disguise fail?
Neptune: Good evening, ladies and germs! Welcome to the 95th Academy--*Coughs* Oops, eheh. Wrong call. Ahem! Neptune moveset comes 2023! 'Til then, look out for yours truly!
Otto: *Hangs up the phone* The fool! Yeah, I know the date's arbitrary, but if I don't set some sort of deadline, nothing ever gets done around here.
ASStation 3[]
Hosts: Neptune
Neptune interrupts the 10 year anniversary celebration to announce her moveset will be the next video, and to officially reveal Big Nep as her Memory Fighter. She caps off the segment by giving a sneak preview of the next level of Story Mode, At The End of The Road.
Transcript[]
Neptune: Hold it slowmoe, no one clicked on this vid to watch you contemplate! Now allow me to show you how you REALLY celebrate!
*Big Nep and Break the Targets are revealed, as well as the announcement that it isn't too late to suggest updates.
Neptune: H-Hold the horsebirds, I didn't do anything wrong! But who's waiting a fullash moveset to witness peak nepicness??? Unfortunately that's everything we have to announce on ASStation. Booooooooooooo!!! Oops, I lied! Roll the red anime!
*A sneak preview of At The End of The Road is revealed.*
ASStation 4[]
Both Neptune and Big Nep announce the anniversary Targets poll's winner was actually three people; Maxwell, Captain Underpants and Go!Caillou. As a compromise, they reveal 5 game modes for ASS: Board the Platforms, Break the Targets, Mob Smash, Home Run Contest and Race to the Finish, with the three winners each being announced as the stars for the second third and fourth mode respectively, while the fifth mode's star remains unknown. The two Neptunes also announce the return of the Angry Boss Codecs, with both of their codecs being showcased, and also their KO Sounds, Taunts and Victories when using their Japanese voices.
Transcript[]
Neptune: Now why in the Nep would we end something like this video without an episode of ASStation??
Big Nep: Hey hey!! President Neptune in the house! Tonight's headline, from the anniversary's Targets poll, we have a three-way tie!
Neptune: Nep-Wiggity-What? Someone's gonna be a very busy bee...
Big Nep: You're not too far off, lil me, as to celebrate everyone's efforts, we decided to improvise a lil... In fact, you can check who's taking on what via the official stadium screen! Be excited and stuff!
*The stadium screen shows 5 game modes: Board the Platforms, which Neptune had already done, Break the Targets, which will be done by Maxwell, Mob Smash, which will be done by Captain Underpants, Home Run Contest, which will be done by Go!Caillou, and Race to the Finish, which will be done by a mystery character*
Neptune: (Let's be real tho these will eventually lie on the backburner while other content takes priority.)
Big Nep: TBF, none of these can ever happen til we modernize the respective winner's movesets. I'll remember the promise like a wallaby!
Neptune: More like the memory of a kangaroo. Now where's my Classic Time!?
Big Nep: Yeah, no. We ain't delaying the vid for something like that. Price to pay for going the "Teach Me Histy" format.
Neptune: But worry not, ya fool! We still have plenty of bonus content up our sleeves! Speaking of... we'd like to use another format from our series to revive something that's been ditched for a while...
Big Nep: Ooh, I can't wait! Roll the purple pudding, little me!
*Both Neptune and Big Nep's Angry Boss Codecs are revealed, as well as their Japanese KO Sounds, Taunts and Victory Options*
Trivia[]
ASStation 1[]
- Neptune mentions both Histoire, the Dogoo enemy and Arfoire, who are also characters from the Neptunia franchise.
- Noire makes an off-screen appearance, nagging the hosts to get on with the next announcement after Neptune indirectly called her out as someone whose "far too lonely to have moveset potential", a reference to Neptunia's running gag of Neptune calling Noire a loner.
ASStation 2[]
- Barney the Dinosaur appears to show that Harry Hill is about to beat his Classic Safari off-screen while the video cuts back to Otto's defeat.