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'Sup? I'm kinda bored...

Transcript

Harry and his group continue their way through the forest trail. As Harry is viewing the map, Billy begins to make conversation.

Billy: You know, Harry, I couldn't help but feel that you're... not getting into character.

Harry: Well, sure I am. I'm all Scottish and stuff.

Billy: Well it's just that... The map says that we must be in character in order to find the treasure. It... helps us find our way...

Harry: Alright, Sir Sings-alot, tell me what this means then: "You will ask which warlock which way to go. Which way do you think which warlock will show?" Now what the hell does that mean?

The party is startled be a clap of thunder. They look forward to see a little lady with thick, black glasses, a pointed rubber nose, a large witch hat, and a black track suit.

Witch*With a friendly wave* Hello!

Harry: Boy, this guy couldn't spell worth jack shit. *To witch* Hey, you need a "T" in here in order for this pun to work!

Witch: Well, next time I see the ol' Jarrold, I'll give him the info.

Harry: So, you know Jarrold too, huh? Lemme guess: You're supposed to be Witch Warlock.

Witch: That's the whole kit n' kabootle!

Billy: Then tell us, Witch Warlock: Which way... to The Mysterious Person's Hand?

Witch: Hmm, take one hundred steps, turn left in the forest, keep going straight.

Billy: Huh, that was easy.

Witch: But unfortunately, you have to pass by me in order to continue. It's my job as Good Witch of the Woods.

The party begins to snicker.

Harry: Really? You're the Good Witch of the Woods, huh?

Witch: Yeah.

Amanda: Oh, we're supposed to be scared of the Good Witch of the Woods?

Witch: If you could, yes.

Harry: Alright, Kiki. Mrs. Good Witch of the Woods.

Harry, Billy, Dr. Rex, and Lee approach the witch to mock her mercilessly.

Harry*In baby talk* Oh, who's a good witch? Oh, you are a good witch!

Harry, Billy, Pete and Lee all begin to spout baby talk at the witch as the rest of the party chuckles and Emily giggles.

Witch: Ah, ha, ha, alright, very funny...

Dr. Rex: Oh, who's a good witch? Oh, you are a good witch!

Lee: You're such a good witch! Aww, such a good witch!

The witch begins to voice her annoyance, but Harry, Billy, Pete and Lee continue to mock her as the rest of the group laughs on. The four begin to play Ring-Around-the-Rosie around the increasing annoyed witch, and before they can finish their rhyme, the witch grabs Harry's wrist to a dramatic chord. Harry looks down at the witch, who looks up at him with glowing red eyes and begins to speak in a demonic voice.

Witch: YOU WILL PERISH IN THE FLAMING PITS OF HELL, WHERE THE DEMONS ASMODEUS AND ASMARA WILL FEAST ON YOUR BOILING FLESH AND CHEW ON YOUR EYEBALLS!!! THEN, A THOUSAND YEARS OF BLAZING TORMENT!!!!!

Harry screams hysterically as the witch makes her threat. Billy, Dr. Rex and Lee scream and flee midway through her speech. Harry is finally able to escape the witch's grasp and cowers behind an equally frightened Emily. The witch immerses herself in light, her screams echoing throughout the woods. She then swiftly returns to her kind demeanor.

Witch: Neat, huh?

Harry: Stupid chain letter, I knew I shouldn't have followed it. Why didn't any of you try to stop me?!

Witch: Chain letter?

A brief silence occurs as the witch has discovered something amiss.

Witch: But Jarrold didn't- Oh... Oh dear... Perhaps it's better if you die now rather than wait for what's coming. I know what hunts you, and believe me, it's much kinder if I just, mmm... smash your brains in and and drink from your bleeding skulls.

The witch then screams maniacally and summons lightning from the sky, causing the party to scatter all around. Among the hysteria, Hilary drops his dolls. Before he can retrieve them, lighting strikes them, destroying them.

Hilary*Sobbing* My friends!

The witch continues her spell, cackling demonically. Talking Joe then takes a stand and approaches her.

Harry: TJ? Where the hell are you goin'?

TJ walks up to the witch, still summoning lightning around her. The rest of the party look on in suspense. TJ steps in front of the witch and sprays her face with mace. The witch stumbles back, her spell ceased. She then starts cursing in a demonic voice.

Witch: OH, YOU BUNGHOLE!!! NOOOOO, YOU TORTUROUS COCK GOBLIN!!! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF MEEEEEEEE!!!!!

The witch then disappears into a ball of light. The party is left speechless after what had just occurred.

Tabatha: How did she do this?

Brodi: It's magic. You don't have to explain it.

Harry: Don't be stupid, there's no such thing as magic.

Brodi*Annoyed* Really? Then how did she do it?!

The party stares at the empty trail the the witch once was. Harry is unable to answer an impatient Brodi.

Harry: Keep moving.

The party continues onward.

Cut to the map Sonny had lost, still where it was since Episode 3. A valley girl talking on her phone walks up to it.

Girl*Talking on phone* And my dad shot her. It was weird. *She notices the map* Hold on a sec.

The girl bends over to reach for the map. Before she can pick it up, a cane pins the map down. She looks up to see The Mysterious Person looking down at her.

Mysterious Person: Where did you find that?

Girl: Just here. Is it yours?

The stranger picks up the map and looks around aimlessly.

Girl: Excuse me. I said, "Is it yours?"

The stranger continues to ignore her.

Girl: Well, if it's not yours, I'm takin' it? Finders keepers.

The girl tries to take the map from the stranger, but the stranger holds on to it to a dramatic chord.

Girl*Tugging for the map* Hey, come on. *She goes back to her phone* No, no, Frank, it's just a... Rocky Horror reject.

MP: Is that your phone?

Girl: Yeah.

MP: Don't use that.

Girl: Why not?

MP: Just don't.

Girl*Toyingly* Why?

MP: What do you think of the 21st century?

Girl: I don't know. I can't see that far into the future.

MP: Does your cocoon of technological webbing keep you safe? Does it protect you from the real evils of this world? Do you feel better knowing what every last man, woman, and child is doing this very moment, all across this fearsome existence? Every message, every podcast, Facebook, Twiiter, YouTube! Does it enrich your life? Does it give you... purpose?

The girl has no idea what to think of the man's question, then gives a flirtatious smile.

Girl: Hey, you're kinda hot. What'cha doin' tonight?

A bolt of red lightning crashes on top of the girl, causing her to explode. The Mysterious Person, map in hand, walks away from the pool of fire where the girl once was.

Cut to Sonny's party, walking through a trail. Sonny holds his hand up to halt the group from continuing into a forked road.

Sonny: The path is split! No more shall we wander naked in the dark. 'Tis time to see where the next arrow lies.

The group looks confused until Rachael translates.

Rachael: *Monotone* Sigh... He appears to be taking out the map.

Sonny: Yes.

Group: Oh, okay...

Sonny looks into his bag, but becomes troubled when the map is not there.

Sonny: Um, oopsie-doodle.

Brad: What? What is it?

Sonny: Well, um... uh...

Brad: Did you lose the map?

Sonny: I'm not saying that, uh...

Brad*Raising his voice* Well, what are you saying?

Sonny: ...Well, I'm saying it now.

The party groans.

Rachael: *Monotone but slightly annoyed* This is intolerable...

MimeFan: A pox on your houses!!!

Edward: Yeah, what he said.

Sonny: No wait, wait. I think I remember what it said on the map.

Angel: You couldn't remember the whole alphabet, stupid!

Sonny: No, really! I believe it said, "If the path should split from left to right, pick up a stone and say 'Give me light.'"

Ollie: "Pick up a stone and 'Give me light?'"

Sonny: Well, I think so.

Bruceton: *Sarcastically, he has a smug look on his face* Oh, right. *Picks up a stone* Like I'm just supposed to pick up a stone, stand here, and say "Give me light."

A cut to what appears to be Sonny dressed as the Gatekeeper from Nightmare (It's obviosly not him though) suddenly appears, with an accompanying loud gong.

Gatekeeper Sonny: DOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Bruceton is startled and drops the stone.

BrucetonCrap!

Bruceton's jumpiness grabs the others' attention.

Oscar: What was that, chubby?

Bruceton: Nobody saw that?

Oscar: No.

Bruceton*Picks up the stone again* You actually pick up a stone, stand here, and say, "Give me light."

Gatekeeper Sonny pops up again.

Gatekeeper SonnyOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!!

Bruceton is startled again and drops the rock.

Bruceton: Jesus!

Everyone is taken aback by Bruceton's reaction.

Otto: ENOUGH! *Picks up the stone* I'LL DO THE THING!

Yuuki: Nononono you is to go away. *tries to take the stone* Me want stone now!

Otto*Still holding on to his rock* GIVE ME MAH STONE NOW, HAMILTON!!!

Yuuki: Away go, shouty man with mustache you're blocked!

Otto and Yuuki*Both holding the rock* Give me light!

Gatekeeper Sonny pops up again.

Gatekeeper SonnyDOOOOOOOO!!!!! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...

Gatekeeper Sonny's appearance startles the two, but they manage to hold on to the rock.

Gatekeeper Sonny: I am The Gatekicker! So, puny mortals, you are looking for the correct path to lead you to The Mysterious Person's Hand?

Otto: YES... Yuuki: Yay...

Gatekicker: Then follow these words closely, for I shall not repeat them. Go to-

Yuuki suddenly drops the rock.

Yuuki: Geez! *Retrieves rock*

Otto: YUUKI OGATA WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!?!

Yuuki: Me is sowwy.

The two hold onto the rock again.

Otto and Yuuki: Give me light!

The Gatekicker appears yet again.

GatekickerDAAAAAAAHH!!!!! Don't let that happen again! These rocks already get bad reception!

Otto: SORRY! Yuuki: Sowwy.

GatekickerGood. Now go to the r-

Otto suddenly drops the rock.

Otto: WAIT! I MUST WRITE THIS DOWN NOW! *Searches himself for a pen and paper*

Yuuki: No no no you is to member it!

Otto: FIIIIIIIIINE! *Retrieves rock*

Yuuki: You is too young!

The two hold onto the rock.

Otto and Yuuki: Give me light!

The Gatekicker appears once more.

Gatekicker: DAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

Otto: SEEN IT! Yuuki: *Unamused* See it.

Gatekicker: Now stop dropping the damn rock already! I'm a busy man and I haven't got all day! Got it?!

Otto: YES, SIR! Yuuki: Sir yay.

Gatekicker: Alright! But this is the last time, I swear to God! If you miss it, you miss it. Now, go-

A phone rings.

Otto: SILENCE I MUST ANSWER MY PHONE IMMEDIATELY!!!

Otto drops the rock to answer his phone. The party looks on, growing more frustrated, especially Angel.

Otto*On phone* HELLO WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!?! *Suddenly speaks in a normal tone*...Oh, hi Mum. ...Yeah, I'm on a quest for buried treasure. Isn't that cool? ...No, this one's for real this time. *More quietly* No, I won't bring home another dead animal.

The party looks fed up.

Otto*On phone* Okay, love you, too. Bye. *Hangs up and puts away phone, returning to his regular shouting tone* WE MAY CONTINUE AT ONCE! *Retrieves rock*

Yuuki: *Sarcastically* We is to?

The two hold onto the rock.

Otto and Yuuki: Give me light!

The Gatekicker pops up once more.

GatekickerDAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

Otto: YOU WILL NOT SCREAM LOUDER THAN ME! AND MUST YOU DO THAT ALL OF THE TIMES?!?!

Gatekicker: I'm contractually obligated to, yes. *Angrily* NOW STOP DROPPING THE DAMN ROCK!!!

Yuuki: Ooh me has idea!

Yuuki places the rock on the palm of his and Otto's hands.

Yuuki*Tosses rock* Whoo! *Catches rock*

GatekickerDOOOOOOO!!!!!

Yuuki*Tosses rock* Whoo! *Catches rock*

GatekickerDAAAAAHH!!!!!

Yuuki*Tosses rock* Whoo! *Catches rock*

Gatekicker: AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

Yuuki*Tosses rock* Whoo! *Catches rock*

GatekickerOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!!

Yuuki*Tosses rock* Ha, ha! *Catches rock*

GatekickerDRAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

Yuuki*Tosses rock* Yayayay fun is this! *Catches rock*

GatekickerWOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!! STOP IT!!! STOP IT!!! *Finally catching Otto and Yuuki's attention* YOU INSOLENT MAGGOTS!!! I've seen three-headed hellspawn more cooperative than you! Now, do you want to know the stinking location or not?

Otto: YES... Yuuki: Yay...

Gatekicker: Alright then! Go to the fork in the road, take a right, and continue forth, got it?!

Otto: YES! Yuuki: Yay.

Gatekicker: Good! Never call me again, you little bastards! Now if you'll excuse me, I have rock waiting. *Flips to next line* HAAAAAAAHH!!!!!

Cut to a woman with red hair and a bright coloured dress in a modern home, with a cigarette in one hand and rock pressed against her ear in the other.

Gatekicker's Wife: Honey, did you ever pick up the croutons?

Gatekicker: I told you to check the pantry. I'm not buying more croutons when we already have an open box!

Cut back to the party, where Otto steps forward, shoving Yuuki aside.

Otto: AT LAST! IT HAS BEEN FIGURED OUT THAT WE MUST TAKE OUR FACES TO THE PATH ON THE RIGHT!

The party looks intimidated, except for Rachael who is of course, expressonless. Otto is unsure of what's going on, then notices they aren't looking at him. He and Yuuki turn around to see the mysterious person from moments ago, staring dramatically at them.

Brad: Who is that?

Bruceton: Looks like a member of Run-DMC.

The stranger approaches the party. Dan steps up to speak with him, stepping cautiously while the others look on.

Dan: Um, excuse me? Hi, I'm Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs. Can we help you, strange... Gestapo looking person?

The stranger dramatically reaches into his pocket, quickly pulling out the map and presenting it to Dan. Dan recoils in fear, then realizes what the man is holding.

MP: You dropped this.

Dan, still on his guard, takes the map and goes over it.

Dan: Oh. Oh! Well- Well, thank you very much! *Turns back to the group* What a nice person. We should give him something. Uh-

Dan turns around to find that the man has already disappeared. The rest of the group looks just as confused as Dan as to where the man could have gone to so quickly. They turn around. They are then startled by the sudden appearance of the Shadows in front of the trail. Shadow 1 waves daintily at the party.

Rachael: *Monotone* Sigh...

Sonny: Run like children!

The party runs away from the Shadows like children.

Shadow 1: Unleash the fire of a thousand arrows.

Shadow 2: You mean the machine gun?

Shadow 1: ...Yes.

Shadow 2 hands Shadow 1 his broadsword and pulls out a machine gun. He then opens fire at the party, who are still fleeing in terror. Angry Boss suddenly turns around, with a look of joy on his face.

Boss: Hold on, I was not informed that we were allowed to use machine guns!

As Shadow 2 continues to fire away, The Boss whips out a machine gun of his own and points it at the Shadows.

Boss: MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA, YOU ROTTEN TOMATOES!!!

The Boss unleashes a hail of bullets onto the Shadows, who begin to withdraw. Shadow 1 and Shadow 3 do their best to deflect the bullets as Shadow 2 continues to fire, while The Boss buys time for the party to escape.

Boss: THAT KING KONG CHARACTER HAS GOT NOTHING ON ME!!!

The Boss continues his fire at the retreating Shadows..

Shadow 1: Shadow 2, don't be a hero!

As the Shadows finally retreat, Angel returns to fetch The Boss.

Angel: Get a move on, you big idiot!

Angel takes The Boss with her, but not before The Boss can fire a few more shots at the Shadows. The two rejoin the party, exhausted from running. The Boss, however, is on an adrenaline high.

Boss: That was awesome! GoAnimatingly, Bruceton-killingly awesome! I am liking this character more and more! Because of that, he rocks!

Otto: WAIT A MINUTE! *Looks around* WHEEEEEEEEEEEERE IS YUUKI OGATA?!?!

The party realizes they are minus one companion.

Cut to a lost Yuuki, who has been hiding in among the trees in the chaos.

Yuuki: Hi-hi? *Steps out from hiding* Hi-hi? We is to fight and win?

A hand turns Yuuki around. Yuuki is terrified to see it is Shadow 1.

Yuuki*Waving his wand* Exxonexxon Petroliyumyum!

Nothing happens. Shadow 1 slaps Yuuki's wand from his hand, then slaps his face. Yuuki screams in pain. Shadow 1 then gets a firm grip on Yuuki's shoulders and stares at him.

Shadow 1: Look into my eyes!

Yuuki*Terrified* Me no see eyes of you they is up covered!

Shadow 1: Oh... Well, pretend you can see my eyes.

Yuuki*Gleefully* Yayay.

Shadow 1: Look into them!

Yuuki*Terrified* AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Shadow 1: You are now one of us! One of us. One of us.

Shadow 1 continues chanting, putting Yuuki into a hypnotic stupor. Shadows 2 and 3 join in on chanting "One of us." Yuuki's blank expression is shown one more time before cutting to black.

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