It's time again! Just 2 parts left now.
Mick Ellison enters the room where Bruceton and Phoque are.
Phoque: Why, Master Ellison. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Mick: Chairman Phoque, on behalf of the All Star Smashers and anti-trollords everywhere, I place you under arrest. *Brandishes his lightsaber*
Phoque: Are you threatening me, Master Critic?
Phoque: You dare 'duh' me?
Mick: You will be made to pay for your many crimes, especially helping Trump become president.
Bruceton: Woah, woah, woah. Mick, what are you talking about?
Mick: Bruceton, he's behind all of our recent problems.
Bruceton: *To Phoque* Is this true?
Phoque: Well, from a certain point of view, everything- Yes.
Bruceton: *To Mick* I don't care. He deserves a trial, dude. Leave him to the feds or the courts or whatever.
Mick: He's bought them off with his money he has made off of YouTube pranking videos. He's too dangerous to be allowed to live. He deserves to die. He WILL die.
Phoque: *Channeling Ian McDiarmid* No. No. No. No. It is YOU who will DIE!!!
Phoque brandishes his lightsaber, which Mick knocks out of his hand.
Phoque then shoots lightning out of his hands, which Mick reflects with his lightsaber.
Phoque: *In agonizing pain* Jarakin! He's killing me! Only I can make you a true trollord and save you from obscurity!
At this point, Phoque appears more scarred and weathered than before; Bruceton meanwhile has been deep in thought over what's been happening.
Phoque: He's killing me!
Bruceton: No! I need him! I NEED HIM!
Bruceton goes over and knees Mick in the groin.
Mick: Oh! Me lunch boxes!
Phoque: *Now deformed* POWAAAAAAAAAH!!! *Shocks Mick with the lightning* Unlimited Meme POWAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Mick: Cheesiest line ever!
He is obliterated, and Bruceton is filled with regret.
Bruceton: My God! What have I done?
Phoque/Executive: Killed your friends. Betrayed your comrades. All in all, I'd say a successful Tuesday.
Phoque: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Executive: Jarakin, join me. Together we can rule the galaxy with copyright laws.
Bruceton: *Kneels before him* I will do whatever you ask.
Executive: Really? Wow. That went much faster than I expected.
Bruceton: I have a real impulse control problem.
Bruceton: I pledge myself to you. To the ways of the Trollords. To the ways of the Dicks.
Executive: Good. Gooooood. A powerful dick you will become. From now on, you shall be known henceforth as Darth Bruceton. We must move quickly. *He dons his hoodie* The All Star Smashers are relentless. If we do not hurry, they will be on the message boards within minutes. Stupid letters reporting our activities will be sent to Congress, there will be another dark age of trolling, and all hope will be lost.
Bruceton: What can we do?
Executive: First, we will kill the All Star Smashers, then seize the power of the Hole, then we'll have a little soiree.
At this point, the dark music is replaced by lighter, jazz-lounge music.
Executive: Maybe invite some friends over. Johnny Knoxville perhaps? Bam Margera is always nice. Maybe have some of those appetizer-y things. Those little spinach puffs and those little cocktail weiners wrapped in the- what do you call it? It's almost like a Pillsbury Dough, but not quite. And maybe some cards, a few games, some charades... And THEN! Then we shall have peace.
Cut to Human Oscar still in Yuuki's subconscious talking to "Eric" in the Hole.
Oscar: But I don't understand. How'd you get here, Chubby?
Eric: You launched me into space. Remember?
Oscar turns around as the All-Star Knights footage plays again.
Eric: The hole did the rest.
Oscar: You collided with it. Didn't you? You collided with the hole and it restored you. Just like Europa.
Eric: YES! Now, me and the plot hole are one.
Oscar: Then your character is in Yuuki.
Eric: He is but one half of me.
Oscar: Well, then we need to bring you two back together.
Eric: Not until you bring me Harry Bradshaw. Bring him to the Plot Hole!
Oscar: But why?
Eric: Bring him to the hole, and all will be revealed.
Oscar: No, not until you tell me the truth. What do you want with Harry and what have you done with Yuuki?
Eric: You're wasting time. You are all in danger from... him.
Oscar: Him? Who?
The Plot Hole shoots a lightning bolt into Oscar's head as he sees a vision of the Executive and Bruceton.
Executive: This station is the greatest power of all the universe. Once we use it, the world will crumble before the power of the Death Bomb.
We now see The Death Bomb; it's like The Death Star, only... a bomb. It even has a wick at the top.
Executive: Out of the ashes, we will rise. Of course, it needs to be repainted. Wallpaper needs to be re-applied and the rugs are hideous; but aside from that, it's pretty damn impressive.
Bruceton: I agree, bro. And if we're gonna kill everyone, can we kill Angry Boss first?
Oscar: Oh no! He's gonna kill everyone! And Bruceton wants him to kill Angry Boss first! Guys, get me out of this thing!
Cut to Oscar in his regular plush form in the chair.
Oscar: Guys! Get me out of here! Guys! Guys! Guys!
No one responds. Why? We pan over to see that the entire crew is passed out on the floor with Donny, Otto, and Rachael still standing. Donny is seen wearing a gas mask.
Donny: Ahhhhh...time is minuscule. Leave none of these insepid mules alive, my metallic allies. Yaaaaaaas...
Otto and Rachael walk way while Donny continues working and laughing like a nut. Cut to the Engineering computer, which is a Strata Version 8.1 introduction.
Hilary: They're communicating with Neil and Matthew. I knew it!
Pete: Look at that, Little Hilary. That part says that the oxygen is dropping.
We zoom in on that line of text.
Pete: But on the bridge only...
Hilary: All of the crew is on the bridge! They're making their move! We have to do something.
Pete: What are we going to do?
Hilary: *Formulating a plan* Turn on the oxygen. I feel a John Madden moment coming on.
He leaves, and Pete turns it back on. On the bridge, Donny is at the controls. Otto and Rachael approach a sleeping Emily on the floor.
Pete: *Panicking* Uh, what to do, what to do. Uh... Think, Pete, think! What would George Takei do?
Pete looks up to the side; Takei then appears in a dream bubble.
George Takei: If not the "Naked Now", what "Naked Time?" *He disappears*
Pete: *As Takei* Of course!
Emily starts to wake up as Otto prepares to assimilate her.
Emily: *Still pretty groggy* I wanna lifty-lift a big thingy...
She falls back asleep. The sound of a door is heard. The door opens to reveal a legs-only shot of someone wearing the boots from before. Donny suddenly looks over. We now see that it's Hilary sporting the power gloves and boots. He enters making loud thumping noises.
Hilary: *To Otto* Get away from her, you little SHIT!
Donny: *To Otto* DELETE THAT ATROCIOUS BEING!
Otto: Die, atrocious being!
He punches Hilary, but Hilary deflects his blasts with the gloves before pushing him. Donny is suddenly tapped with a rapier sword.
Pete: Ah ha!
Pete is revealed to be half naked, based on Sulu from "The Naked Time."
Pete: You'll either leave here bloodied or with my blood on your swords.
He continues to thrust Donny, who doesn't flinch.
Pete: Ah ha! Ah ha! Ooh. Aah. Ooh. Aah.
Every time the sword "hits" Donny, it makes an ineffective metallic clang, as it is not a real sword made out of metal.
Hilary prepares for another round. Otto motions to Rachael.
Hilary: Seriously, Rachael. I know you're a stoic as hell goth with no emotion whatsoever, but I know still in there.
She shoots her as he deflects her blasts.
Hilary: This is... why... I'm... not... dating you!
Pete continues to thrust Donny with the sword as he still works. Rachael continues to shoot Hilary in the same spot.
Hilary: Seriously, you're just hitting the same spot.
Hilary is now just holding up one arm as Rachael keeps shooting.
Hilary: Seriously, it's just the same spot.
He uses her other arm to deflect his shot and shoot the gun out of her hand. Otto chokes him, but he moves his arm off and starts punching him.
Hilary: Shit! Idiot! Dumbass! Nutcase! Nietzsche rip-off!
Pete: *Still thrusting Donny with the sword with no luck* Give up, little Sonny?
Donny finally punches Pete in the gut to the floor. He then laughs.
Donny: Naive mule! Do you not realize you play with a mere toy?
Brodi: Pete. Thermal detonator. *Throws it to him* With remote. *Throws that to him too* Night night. *And promptly passes out*
Pete: All right, little Sonny or little whoever you are! Eat this and get off my special bus NOW!
He throws the detonator into Donny's mouth, and he swallows it.
Pete: *Amazed* Wow, he ate it.
Hilary: Turn it off, Pete! He'll blow us to kingdom come.
Donny chokes Pete with a deranged look on his face as Otto chokes Hilary.
Hilary: Rachael, you need to fight back! I know you're still in there! Rachael, if you fight back... I'll go out on a date with you!
Rachael: *Long pause; Her voice is normal again, but still monotone of course* Really?
Donny removes a dagger from his pocket and prepares to strike Pete with it.
Rachael: *Monotone* Sigh...I tire of this petty love triangle.
Rachael approaches Hilary and Otto. She removes her helmet, while not showing his face, of course. A horrified Otto lets out a blood-curdling screech that wakes the crew and blows up Donny's face. He then faints as the crew comes to, and Rachael puts her helmet back on.
Hilary: Wow, Rachael. You showed your face.
Rachael: Indeed. I was certain that would snap him out of his undead trance.
Hilary: Well, you saved my life, kid. I don't think a date would work out, since I'm already a married man. But I think that's at least worth us hanging out together. We could watch football on the telly, play football video games together or listen to Blue Monday. Or we could do whatever creepy goth stuff you like to do. What do you usually do anyway?
Rachael: *Monotone* I like to go to the graveyard to visit my friends and lost souls of the mortal realm, conduct practice funerals at my funeral home, or summon spirits in my hidden domain to grant me strength. I must warn you...I don't usually allow people into my room.
Hilary is creeped out at first, but he soon changes his expression to a more positive one.
Hilary: I would like that.
He smiles at Rachael, who just stares blankly back at him.
The crew walks over to them with Harry rubbing his eyes.
Harry: What happened?
Hilary: *Taking off the boots* You nearly died from lack of oxygen; but fortunately, you clowns were so hyped up on painkillers that it slowed down your metabolism.
Angel: *Disgusted* Ew, gross! Is that why I'm seeing Pete without a shirt?! *Pete waves*
Harry: Well, who's responsible for this?
Hilary: *Points to a passed out and deformed Donny* Him. He's your traitor.
Harry: I knew it. I never did trust Sonny. What kind of freak makes videos on Facebook?
Rachael: *Monotone* That is not Sonny.
Harry: Oh. Really? Then who is it?
Emily: Ooh! That's Sonny's meanie evil twin, Donny Dlaven! H-He's scary...
Harry: Oh. Well, you're not so tough now, are you, Mr. Traitor?
Donny: You brainless, disgusting worms!
Donny gets up, aims a blaster at them and calls his intercom.
Donny: Brother Whitehead! Have you been listening?
Matthew: *Vo* Yes. Now, complete your assignment and kill Harry Bradshaw.
Harry: What does he want? What does he want?
Rachael: *Monotone* He desires the secret to The Mysterious Person's Hand.
Harry: The secret to The Mysterious Person's Hand? It's useless! Nobody knows how it works.
Donny: Lies. Filthy unacceptable lies! Such lies deserve DELETION!!!
Harry: It's true, you idiot! Nobody knows if it even has any powers. Ask your moron boss.
Matthew: *Vo* Hey, Neil, check this out. I totally duped that deranged moron! He actually thinks I'm going to give him the secrets to that Power Glove, even though it's totally useless! Ha ha ha! Wait, hold on. Is this thing still on? Turn it off! Turn it off!
We see Donny getting angry.
Matthew: ...Um, Donny? I hope my... twin brother didn't get on the line... He's a compulsive liar. Donny?
He prepares to shoot the crew, but Angel hits him with a jumping kick to the chest. The crew prepares to fight, but Donny teleports himself out.
Elouise: Oh no! He's taking the escape pod! *As we see the pod leave into space*
Harry: Ah, let him go. We got bigger things on the brain, like a white tiger. ...White Tiger? White Tiger? Oh, dear God!
He and Ollie quickly run back to the machine to find a passed out Oscar.
Harry: Oscar! Oscar!
He and Ollie get Oscar to wake up.
Ollie: Are you okay? What happened? What do you know?
Oscar: *Taking off the mask* Everything.
Cut to him sitting in a chair, addressing the rest of the crew.
Oscar: ...And there's a space station the size of a planet located just outside the hole.
Billy: You mean like the Death Star from Star Wars?
Dr. Rex: And you also say this hole is getting more and more unstable?
Tim: I don't get it. Why kill everybody? I mean, what's the Executive's goal in doing that?
Oscar: He thinks he can control the hole. You saw what it did to Europa. As long as it creates new worlds, new life, new audiences for him to control, he doesn't CARE what happens to Earth.
Boss: New worlds without bosses to guide them?! UNACCEPTABLE!!! I REFUSE TO ALLOW THIS!!! I BLAME BRUCETON FOR THIS DESPITE HIS CAPTURE!!! BRUCETON! BRUCETON!! BRUCETON!!!
Lee: *Restraining the Boss* Boss, calm down, we'll all survive this...hopefully!
Finn: We should find this station and blow it up.
Krunch: But what about the big scary hole desu?
Brad: Well, we can't go in there. Not until we know what side of Eric we're dealing with.
Amanda: He's right. *Points at Harry* And that goes double for you.
Dan: But what if he's telling the truth?
MimeFan: What if he isn't?
Caillou: Aren't we forgetting something? What about Bruceton? He's on that station, too.
Boss: I hope he has so been fired right now!
Oscar: Caillou, I've seen what Bruceton has become, Chubby. He's... He's become one of them.
Caillou looks concerned. We cut to the Death Bomb
Executive: Darth Bruceton. Rise.
We see Darth Bruceton in his uniform, which is simply the Darth Vader helmet with Bruceton's sunglasses attached.
Executive: Lord Bruceton, can you hear me?
Darth Bruceton: Barely. I don't understand why I have to wear this mask.
Executive: To hide your hideously deformed face.
Darth Bruceton: I still don't get that.
Executive: You were burned.
Darth Bruceton: After you threw coffee in my face.
Executive: To get rid of that mosquito.
Darth Bruceton: Which I didn't see.
Executive: But I did.
Darth Bruceton: And couldn't find.
Executive: Because he drowned in coffee.
Darth Bruceton: I'm starting to think you just wanted someone uglier around you.
Executive: All is set for destruction. With my coffee-soaked Hamburglar face of an apprentice by my side, nothing can stop us now. *Evil cackle*
Darth Bruceton: NOOOOOOO!!!!
The Executive stops cackling.
Executive: What was that?
Darth Bruceton: What? I thought it would add dramatic effect.
Executive: No. It was lame. It's-It's fine. We'll edit it out and add it to the special edition. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. *Resumes cackling*
Darth Bruceton: YEEESSSSSS!!!
To Be Continued.