FANDOM


It's time to cause a little distraction... ;)

Transcript

Caillou is on his bed at his laptop. He suddenly hears a voice as the spirit of Mick appears.

Mick: *Phony spooky voice* Caaaaaaillou! Caaaaaailou!

Caillou: Mick?

Mick: Caillou, you must go to the internet. There you will find Master Agito, the high brow Lawler. He will teach you the ways of the Plot.

Caillou: Internet? High brow Lawler?

Mick: There you'll find the means to defeat Darth Bruceton, the douchebag who defeated me.

Caillou: I-I can't do that. I can't kill my best friend. That's impossible.

Mick: Caillou, like Shia LaBeouf always says, nothing's impossible. You simply have to swallow your humanity, leave your body and shove a molten laser sword down your best friend's oesophagus. It's the only civilized way.

Caillou: Maybe there's another way. Maybe there's still some good in him.

Mick: He is more corporate now than man. Twisted and evil, while you're still pure and innocent, despite you constantly getting grounded all the time.

Caillou: I can't do it. Isn't there anyone else? I'm surprised Billy wasn't interested.

Mick: Well...

Cut to Billy sitting and screaming in the corner of a room, rocking back and forth.

Billy: AAAAAHH!!! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAHHH!!! *He does this throughout the scene*

Mick: Will you calm down?! I'm not trying to scare you! I want to... inspire you to help you defeat the dark side! *Getting frustrated* Stop yelling, you British sissy boy! Oh, forget it! *He waves up his hands and leaves*

Cut back to him with Caillou.

Mick: Heeeee wasn't available. Find Master Agito, listen closely and guard your emotions *Phony spooky voice* for they could be made to serve the Executive... Woo! I'm a ghost, Caillou... *Fades out*

Caillou starts to search the internet as we cut to Matthew and Neil's ship.

Matthew: *Vo* Executive, we- WOAH! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!?!

The Executive appears on the ship's screen.

Matthew: You look like a melted candle!

Executive: My battle with the All Star Smashers has left me scaaaaarrrred! (That's "scarred" by the way, not "scared")

Neil: The Death Bomb is nearly complete.

Executive: Goooooood! Then your work here is finished, my friends. Remain on the command ship and await my further orders. With our vast armada, nothing can defeat us now.

Matthew: What of the All Star Smashers and Bruceton?

Executive: It is of no concern. Soon the All Star Smashers will be crushed and Jared Bruceton is now one of us. This calls for a celebration. Throw a big Hollywood coke party. Funnel all that money that we should have been giving to those screenwriters.

Neil: Excellent! We'll need a reliable source of entertainment. I'll put an ad on Craigslist!

Matthew: With all due respect, Executive, I don't feel safe throwing a party while Harry Bradshaw still lives.

Neil: Nonsense! You heard the man. We're invincible! It's party time!

Matthew: I don't want a party!

Neil: Well, we're going to do a party!

Matthew: *Whining and crying* We never do anything I want!

Executive: Hey! Don't make me separate you two.

Caillou manages to find Agito90 aka Master Agito at his home, reading the Encyclopedia of Science Fiction. Agito suddenly notices Caillou.

Agito: Oh, hi, um... Caillou, right?

Caillou: Hey, Agito. Um, this is going to sound weird but ... I'm in space, and this ghostly apparition of Mick Ellison just came to me and said that you should be a mentor, and I...

Agito: Wait. Wait. You want me to be... a mentor? You want me to allure over to you my intellectual prowess and always be right in your eyes?

He starts to get giddy, as only he can.

Agito: I knew this day would come. One moment.

He dons a headset of Yoda's ears. He then leaves his room and suddenly appears sitting next to Caillou on the bed.

Agito: Hi there.

Caillou: Wait, how did you do that?

Agito: Nothing can stop my true calling of being a mentor.

Caillou: Yeah, but how did you get here?

Agito: Jump cut. *Says this pretty fast* Well, technically, jump cut combined with parallel action; it's ver-very New Hercules. I'll give you the book later. Anyway, jump cut. One of the many tools of the Plot.

Caillou: The Plot! Yes, that's what I need to know. Master Agito, will you teach me the ways of the Plot?

Agito: Of course. Help you I can. *Does a flat Yoda impression* Mmm hmm hmm hmm. *Stands up* But it will take months of training. Long gruelling hours spent in the swamp, hauling me around, eating lousy porridge, giving me a sponge bath whenever I-

Caillou: *Stands up to interrupt him* Uh, I only have a few minutes.

Agito: Oh. Well, in that case, take this.

He tosses Caillou a syringe; Caillou reads the writing on it.

Caillou: "Alex Proyasac -- A Lifetime of Training in a Single Syringe."

Caillou is holding the syringe with both hands with the needle sticking up in the air.

Caillou: Is it safe?

Agito: *Grabbing Caillou's hands* I certainly hope so.

He thrusts the tube into Caillou's head as a blinding light takes over. Luke finds himself flying through space as Agito shows him several images and clips of films as he speaks.

Agito: *Vo* You're probably wondering why I keep appearing in your thoughts. It's because I've inserted myself in them. I am here to teach you about the Plot.

We see clips from A Trip to the Moon.

Agito: A character's strength flows through the plot, but beware the dark side. *Pictures on money appear* Protectionism. Stifling creativity. Selling out. These lead to the dark side.

We see Darth Bruceton.

Agito: Darth Snob was seduced by the power of the Dark Side of the Plot.

The Executive appears, as does a Manos clip.

Agito: He thought infamy would make his work last forever, but he forgot something very important.

Caillou: *Vo* What's that?

Agito: *Vo* Bad art is a distraction. Great art changes people.

Caillou: *Vo* But how can we change people if there's so much crap?

Agito: *Vo* Patience. For every two dozen Phantom Menaces, there is a Return of the King. For every two-bit Shyamalan, a Stanley Kubrick is born. For every poor soul who groans during an Adam Sandler-funded Rob Schneider vehicle, there is a child crying life-affirming tears when Bambi's mom is shot.

At this point, we see Caillou look around at more clips of films like Birth of a Nation, Night of the Living Dead, and A Trip to the Moon again.

Agito: Somewhere out there, a film student is finding out what Rosebud means for the first time. A man is pausing as Fredo prays the Hail Mary on a boat over Lake Tahoe. A woman grasps her heart as Bogie's love flies off into the foggy night. All it takes is one moment to change a person. And that one moment... no matter how fleeting... is worth a thousand Transformers.

Caillou: *Vo* I think I understand.

Agito: *Vo* That's it, Caillou. I know you can beat them, but you must stay true. Remember...the plot can be what you make of it.

More art house cinema is shown as Caillou (and the audience for that matter) beholds their greatness. A blinding light brings Caillou back to his room as he pulls the tube out of his head.

Caillou: I'm ready.

Agito nods as they leave together. Cut to the All Star Smashers gathered in the basement.

Otto: Rachael, um, I really don't think this is going to work out.

Rachael: *Monotone* I know.

Otto: You know, you're a really nice girl...

Rachael: *Monotone* I know.

Otto: And it's not you. It's me.

Rachael: *Monotone* I know.

Otto: I'm glad we had this talk.

Rachael: I'm glad you did too.

Otto offers to shake Rachael's hand, but she obviously doesn't accept.

Rachael: Don't ruin this.

Hilary: *To Rachael* Can you imagine if you ever did date him?

Rachael: Sigh...in what parallel universe would that happen?

We see Tim in front of Brodi, who is holding a cardboard drawing of their plan attack that looks like it was drawn by a kindergartener. It even says "Drawn by Edward!!!"

Tim: Sit down! The Executive has made a critical error and the time for our attack has come. Based on our information, we know he has constructed a space station: a Death Bomb designed to destroy the All Star Smashers and to seize control of the plot hole orbiting Jupiter. It is located near the hole. It is relatively unguarded... except for this ginormous armada of heavily armed ships.

TJ and Edward gulp and a scared Emily hides behind TJ.

Tim We believe that a stealthy assault will cripple the fleet and expose the Death Bomb to our attacks, but most importantly, we have learned that the Executive himself is personally overseeing the final stages of its construction.

Billy is standing next to Brad and Ollie.

Billy: *To Brad and Ollie* Hey, you guys know what I find hilarious? Bothans.

Tim: *In a serious tone* Many Bothans died to bring us this information.

Billy's eyes widen in horror.

Ollie: *Reacting as if someone just got kicked in the nuts* Oooh...!

Brad: *After a long pause; Confused* What the hell's a Bothan?

Ollie: Nobody knows. They're all dead.

Billy: It's a Star Wars reference.

Angel: Whatever! What's the plan?!

Tim: For that, we go to "God Emperor... *Reads his hand* ...Most High Major Captain Lord Finn Palmer."

MimeFan: *To GG* We have really got to stop letting him promote himself.

Finn: *With a sarcastic voice* Using the information provided by Oscar...

Tim clears his throat.

Finn: ...and the Bothans, we'll use a special attack force. *Continually tapping the board with the marker* Now this attack force will sneak aboard Neil's ship and disable the armada from the main control room. But to do this, we'll need a distraction.

Amanda: Any volunteers?

Elouise: I'll do it!

Dan: Really?

Elouise: *Happily* Yeah! Dealing with that bully, Matthew for years has made me realize: Why get stuck with a man when I can stick it TO the man?

Brad: Count me in.

Billy: But wait, who's gonna be in charge of engineering?

Brad: You can do it.

Billy: Oh, okay!

Caillou: *Vo* I'm in too.

Caillou and Agito enter. Caillou is now dressed as Luke Skywalker, but bald and shorter.

Brad: Oh hey, Agito90! You wanna go on a sneak attack with us?

Agito: Sure. I can milk this cameo for a few more scenes.

Tim: Excellent! Finn, since you're leading the space attack, I guess that means you're promoted to ... Jesus. Are you capable?

Finn: Capable? This is the greatest day of my red shirt life...

He suddenly explodes. The camera pans over to see that he reappears on Tim's other side.

Tim: Think you can handle it?

Finn: Oh, yeah.

Dr. Rex: Great! I'll grab my stuff!

Krunch: *Confused* What do you mean, Doctor-san?

Dr. Rex: I'm going too by the way.

Tabatha: Wait a second. We didn't give Harry a chance to offer his contribution.

The crew looks to the side to find a pondering Harry in his chair in the corner.

Harry: My contribution I'll give swiftly, once I think of it, in the confines of my triple protected bunker.

Everyone rolls their eyes.

Lee: I sensed he'd say that.

Boss: Well then, let's DO this at once! For the Bothans!

Everybody: FOR THE BOTHANS!

Emily: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

Harry nods approvingly but suddenly looks concerned as he continues to ponder.

Meanwhile, over at the Death Bomb, we see the armada of ships as well as Neil and Matthew's house ship. We cut to inside the ship as the henchman are seated on the couch holding Coca-Cola cans and looking bored.

Matthew: You know, when he said big Hollywood coke party, I'm not exactly sure this is what I had in mind.

Neil: Come on, guys. It's a party! Don't you guys know how to act at a party?

Matthew: Oh, is that what you're calling this? I've seen Amish funerals more exciting.

Neil: Oh, come on. We have music! We have dance!

Matthew: Music? Look at this place! It's like a rave run by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Neil: Oh, please! On Planet Krypton, Neil threw many a wicked kegger.

Henchman: Do you have any keggers here?

Neil: No drinking while on duty!

Henchmen: Aw!

Matthew: Come on, you guys! Perk up!

They are still bored and Neil sighs.

Neil: I'll go get Apples to Apples. *He leaves*

Matthew: Well, you enjoy the festivities. I'm off to scour the lonely recesses of deep space for that damn Island President.

Henchmen: Take us with you! Take us with you!

Matthew: No! Stay here and party! *He leaves*

Henchmen: *Dejected* Oh!

Back on the Exit Strategy.

Edward: Sir, we're within range. Two sectors away.

Finn: *He's cocky throughout this whole part, sitting in the Captain's chair very lazily* Can they track us?

Edward: Not yet, sir.

Harry: Good. Prepare the away team for beaming. *Hits the intercom on the chair arm* Harry, I hate to interrupt your bunker time, but the REAL heroes are ready.

Harry's chair is empty.

Finn: *Vo* Harry?

Harry heads upstairs, making sure no one sees him, and is about to head out the door. But someone DOES notice...

Otto: MR. PRESIDENT, WHER'RE YOU GOING?!?!

Harry: ...You know where I'm going.

Otto: DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IT'S ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO LEAVE US NOW?!! We need you! I need you! I'm your bestest of friends!! YOU ARE A HERO TO ALL, DAMMIT!!!

Harry: Oh, come on, Otto. I'm no hero.

Otto: OBJECTION! Yes you are! You're the GREEEATEST president there is!

Harry: I'm not even a good president! All I do is argue with people I don't like. What kind of president does that?

Otto: You gave the people of Harry's Island a voice, a place to call our own.

Harry: The only people even ON the island were me, you, and Matthew! And how many Eric's will it take? How many crappy laws were invented because of my bullshit? Bruceton was right. Nothing lasts forever. What are you gonna do when the bottom falls out of this bullshit?

Otto: That's for US to decide.

Harry: Well, I've made my choice.

Otto: And what if it's the wrong choice?

Harry: *Sighs* Something is out there, Otto. Something is calling me. Maybe it's nothing, but maybe it's something. Maybe it's something where I can be useful. Maybe it's something where I can make a difference. Maybe it's something where I can actually do something meaningful and not just hurt people! Whatever it is, it has the answers I'm looking for. It has the truth.

Otto: What if the truth will haunt your dreams for all time?

Harry: Did you really just quote Orlando Jones from The Time Machine?

Otto: Pft. No, I was quoting the trailer. No one saw that piece of rotten pudding!

Harry: My point exactly. Nobody needs me. *Goes towards the door*

Otto: Harry, if you go in that thing, you may never return.

Harry: *Sighs and looks back* Return was never an option.

Otto's eyes widen, startled.

Harry: Goodbye...President.

We cut to Otto's reaction as Harry opens the door and we see the air being sucked out, but the Harry walks back past Otto. Otto looks sad as Billy comes upstairs.

Billy: Hey, you're looking chipper. Listen, can you watch Engine Room for me? Uh, much like James Kirk in Space Seed, I've got something big, burly, and revolting I need to, uh, exile. You know what I mean? OK.

Cut to a still-despondent Otto in Engineering, where Caillou appears at his side.

Caillou: It's Harry, isn't it?

Otto: The team's not here. Wait outside.

Caillou: I know. I'm not going with them.

Otto: What? Where are you going?

Caillou: *Hands him a piece of paper* You need to beam me there.

Otto: *He reads it* But that's...

Caillou: You MUST!

Otto: But they'll kill you!

Caillou: Listen to me. You're not going to believe me, but you need to hear me out. This goes against everything that life, the universe, and everything says is common sense; but if I don't make it back and Harry gets stuck there, you're the only hope for the All Star Smashers.

Otto: *After a pause* You're right. I don't believe you.

Caillou: You're going to have to try your best.

Otto: But what do you want ME to do?

Caillou: Trust in Harry, then trust in me, then trust in yourself... to do the right thing.

Otto: And what IS the right thing?

Caillou: *Pause* You'll figure it out.

Otto: *Hesitantly prepares the teleportation* See you around, bald midget.

Caillou: Later, Nietzsche rip-off.

Caillou is teleported out as Brad comes back in.

Billy: All right, now that that's done, strike team...

Pats Otto on the shoulder; Otto leaves as Billy sits back in the chair.

Billy: Let's get rolling, bakas!

Back on the house ship, Neil is reading the Apples to Apples box.

Neil: "A hilarious game where everyone's opinion counts..."

The teleportation sound is heard outside Neil's door. He slowly approaches the door and opens it to reveal Elouise and Agito dressed as Ursa and Non from Superman II.

Neil: Ursa! Non! I haven't seen you since Planet Houston! What a wonderful surprise!

Elouise: Darling. So good to see you.

Neil: Kisses.

They exchange a couple of air cheek kisses.

Neil: Oh, well I simply must introduce you to everybody. Everyone! I want you to meet two of my closest friends: Ursa- whose cruelty even extended to the children of Krypton- and Non. He's a mindless apparition whose only means of communication is wanton violence and destruction. *Agito is about to speak* He's also a mute. That's very important to know.

Agito is disappointed. The henchmen clap their cans.

Neil: So tell me, tell me. What are you doing here? Oh, don't let me know. You're the entertainment. Oh ho! Craigslist, you've done it again. Tell me, will you sing?

Elouise: *As Agito nods* No.

Neil: But Non is nodding "yes".

Elouise: That means "No" on Krypton.

Neil: No, it doesn't.

Elouise: They changed it.

Neil: When?

Elouise: After you left.

Neil: But you were with me when we l-

Elouise: WIKI it!

Neil: Oh, well, I simply won't let you leave until you sing the number one 1983 Kryptonian single. Oh ho! Let the musical mirth begin!

He leaves for a minute. Elouise and Agito quickly turn to each other.

Agito: *To Elouise, smugly* Oh no. We have no choice. We have to sing.

Elouise: I'M singing. You're NOT. It will give us away and everyone will be really angry.

Agito: But they need to hear my musical pipes.

Elouise: They're gonna break your musical pipes if you don't keep quiet.

Agito: Fine. ...Do you even KNOW the number one Kryptonian hit from 1983?

Elouise: *Brightly* Yep! Billy showed it to me on the ship, and I downloaded it.

Agito: Figures. He's such a geek.

Meanwhile, Darth Bruceton approaches the Executive.

Executive: I thought I told you to get me an Egg McMuffin.

Darth Bruceton: A small rebel force has reached its way into the sector.

Executive: Yes, I know.

Darth Bruceton: I feel that my apprentice is among them.

Executive: Young Caillou? Strange. I did not feel his presence. Are your thoughts on this matter clear, Lord Bruceton?

Darth Bruceton: Clear as Pepsi. Crystal Pepsi.

Executive: Yuck. That shit's nasty.

Darth Bruceton: *Obviously upset* I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear that!

Executive: Very well, then. When he comes before you, you will bring him before me.

Darth Bruceton: He will come to me?

Executive: Yes. I have foreseen it.

Darth Bruceton: How?

Executive: He's standing right next to you.

The camera pans over from Darth Bruceton to reveal that Caillou is indeed next to him.

Darth Bruceton: *Trying to fool the Executor* My master, I have brought you my apprentice.

Executive: Sure you did. *To Caillou* Welcome, young Caillou. I look forward to completing your training. By now, you must know your friend can never be turned from the Dark Side of the Plot.

Caillou: Your over-confidence is your weakness.

Executive: Your faith in the All Star Smashers is yours.

Darth Bruceton: My hope that Crystal Pepsi will make a resurgence is mine!

Caillou and The Executive are both confused.

Bruceton: What? I feel like I hand to contribute something.

Back on Neil's ship

Neil: OK, we're starting this party over. Hit it!

This will lead us into the film's signature musical number, "Distraction." During the first four instrumental opening bars, we see a teleportation in the house as the guards ready themselves. We see it's Brad dressed as Solid Snake from Metal Gear and Dr. Rex dressed in his adventurer gear.

Brad: Snake's in the house, bitches!

Elouise: *Singing* (Verse 1) There’s a fire going on / But the party’s just begun / So keep your focus looking at me tonight

A guard sneaks up behind them, but Brad shoots in the head without looking back.

Elouise: So the world’s about to end / Gonna party with my friends / And ain’t nobody gonna say it’s not right

Agito dances behind Elouise throughout this as Brad and Dr. Rex continue to shoot the guards. Harry is also seen exiting the ship through his garage inside his car.

Elouise: (Pre-Chorus) And I know... nothing’s gonna stand in my way / No matter the people may say / Just don’t turn around and keep looking straight / And I see... that everybody’s starting to yell...

Dr. Rex: According to my calculations, it says the control room is this way.

Shooting occurs as they run away.

Dr. Rex: Detour!

Elouise: How the world around you’s going to Hell / I’m here to tell you all it’s just fate / (Chorus) I’m a distraction / Of pure satisfaction / Keep your eyes all on me / For what you’re gonna see / Will redefine the height of attraction

Harry approaches the plot hole, but Matthew shoots at him with his own personal ship. Harry is not happy.

Elouise: I’m a distraction / And I’m ready for action / So the world’s gonna blow / Stop complaining and go to the show. (Verse 2) There’s explosions in the sky / And the neighborhood is fried / But you don’t have to join them in all the fuss / Act like nothing’s going wrong / And just keep playing my song / Until there’s nothing left around here but us

Agito picks up a microphone wanting to sing, but it's taken by...

Neil: *Singing* (Pre-Chorus 2) And I know... something’s gonna happen tonight / All the stars around us start taking flight / But there’s something that invites me to stay /

The henchmen applaud as Neil pauses them. Agito is naturally upset that he can't sing.

Neil: Cause I’m drawn... to the rhythm of the music they play / And we’re all gonna die anyway / So enjoy it while you can, come what may

Neil and Elouise: *Both singing* (Chorus 2) We’re a distraction / Of pure satisfaction

Meanwhile, with the strike team...

Dr. Rex: More guards are coming.

Brad: Stealth mode.

Dr. Rex hides behind a wall, and Brad hides under a box.

Neil and Elouise: There’s a war going on / But in here, we all won / ‘Cause nobody is slowing the traction

The guards pass Brad's box.

Guard: Hey, did we always have a human size box here?

Brad shoots him and gets out only to find the other two ready to shoot. They're both knocked out by Dr. Rex, who's wielding a shovel.

Brad: Where did you get that shovel

Dr. Rex: I found it while I was hiding. At least I wasn't hiding in a box.

Brad: Hey! That box is like family. *Pats the box* He didn't mean it.

Neil and Elouise: Take a step, come inside / Buy a stub, ride the ride of your life

Neil: (Bridge) Nothing ever will come from saying never / So join the fun wherever it is

Agito fights with Elouise over the microphone as Harry continues to be shot at by Matthew. He then stops as Matthew passes over him.

Neil: There’s a power that’s growing by the hour / I’m positive I don’t want to miss / I’m a distraction…

Brad and Dr. Rex enter another room.

Brad: Did you see that plant?

Dr. Rex Yeah. It really tied the room together!

Brad: All right, Bill. We're in.

Billy: Override code: 723485. And you have to remember to turn the manual controls both at the same time.

Brad and Dr. Rex: 1-2-3 Turn.

The duo turn the controls, but the guards come back.

Dr. Rex: Guards.

They close the doors as the guards ready their guns on the other side; but they don't know what to do:

Guard 1: Should we break it?

Guard 2: I don't know... Does he have home owner's insurance?

A grenade rolls out of the door. The guards scream as it explodes.

Neil and Elouise: (Final Chorus) We’re a distraction / Of pure satisfaction / Keep your eyes all on me / For what you’re gonna see / Will redefine the height of attraction

During this line, Harry and Matthew face each other as they prepare to joust. NC's car lets out some smoke. We also see an Autobot symbol on the trunk lid, as well as a Coexist bumper sticker and a personalized Harry's Island license plate.

Neil and Elouise: I’m a distraction / And I’m ready for action

Harry and Matthew charge at each other, lasers a-blazing.

Elouise: So the world’s gonna blow / Stop complaining and go / Just start watching the show / 'Cause there’s no more to know / Here we go!

Harry: *His lasers stop* OhWah! I'm out!

Matthew: Ooh hoo hoo! And now, Harry, revenge will be mi-

A laser shoots his ship that sends him hurtling through space.

Matthew: *Cries like a baby*

Harry turns to see the mysterious Gort spaceman in his ship.

Harry: Yeah. Klaatu Barada- Whatever.

He continues to head for the Plot Hole.

Neil: I’m a distraction,

Elouise: He’s a distraction,

Neil and Elouise: We’re a distraction,

Agito eventually takes the mic from Neil

Agito: *Singing* We're a distrac-TIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!

The song ends. Everyone is shocked as Elouise smacks Agito in the head.

Henchman 1: Hey, he spoke!

Henchman 2: Non doesn't talk!

Neil: Destroy that fantastic tenor!

Elouise: *To the ship's intercom* Time to go.

As Agito mouths to himself, "Fantastic!", the two are teleported out. The other guards catch Brad and Dr. Rex as they are also teleported out.

Brad: *As they leave* We're not retreating! You surrendered!

Back on the Exit Strategy.

Finn: All right, let's begin this attack. Pete, take us into firing range.

Pete: *Ecstatic* Yes, sir!

Finn: And no barrel rolls.

Pete: *Disappointed* Yes, sir...

Back with Neil.

Guard: Sir, enemy ships closing in.

Neil: What? Put it on screen.

The Exit Strategy comes onscreen.

Neil: Well, we'll show them who gets the best of Neil. All ships, target that house and FIRE!

The entire armada aims at each other and starts shooting itself apart.

Neil: *Shocked* WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!

Matthew: *Walks in* Well, I hope you've been having better luck than I have. I've been having a bit of a losing streak. Oh, by the way...

As he now notices what happened out there.

Matthew: DID WE JUST DESTROY OUR OWN ARMADA?!?

Neil: We'll assign blame to you later. Man the weapons!

The two house ships start firing at each other as we cut to Oscar watching Yuuki. All of a sudden...

Yuuki: *In a trance* It's a trap, you know. Going into the hole won't solve anything.

Oscar: What?

Yuuki: He's been lying to you. Nothing in the hole can save us. It's going to destroy us all.

Oscar: What do you mean, Chubby?

Yuuki: *Eric voice* NOTHING! Nothing. He'll get what's coming to him.

Oscar: What? What's coming for him? Tell me what's in there. TELL ME!!!

Oscar tries shaking Yuuki to wake him but to no avail. He sits back down as he eyes the Dream Amplifier. Cut to the Executor.

Executive: That's right. Your friends are walking into a trap. It was I who allowed them to know the secret location of this base. It is quite safe from your pitiful bandwidth.

Caillou: But many Bothans died to provide us with that information!

Executive: You don't even know what a Bothan is, do you?

Caillou: Sure I do... They're those three eyed things.

Executive: That's a Gran.

Caillou: A pancake face?

Executive: Sullustan.

Caillou: Not a Tribble.

Executive: That's Star Trek, you fool.

Caillou: Well, whatever they are, a lot of them died because of you.

Executive: It matters not. If you do not join me, you will meet your Bothan friends soon enough.

The Exit Strategy continues to fire lasers and Mario Kart red shells.

Finn: Yes! Fire the photon red shells! Arm the lasers! Do as I say!

A safe falls down from the roof, but it misses him.

Finn: Oh, no. Not this time.

He avoids a missile.

Finn: Yes! Finally a red shirt is going to do something-

He blocks lightning with a pie pan.

Finn: OTHER THAN DIE!

A car drives right by him.

Finn: Who let that in here?

He sits back in the chair.

Finn: All right, full impulse, shields on maximum! *To the camera* And shake that camera more for dramatic effect!!

He nods approvingly as the camera shakes more. Cut to Harry, who drives his car straight INTO the Plot Hole.

To Be Concluded.

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.